Shalom in the Home while Staying-at-Home
Updated: Jan 10, 2021
My staff/colleagues and I hold meetings on a regular basis (remotely now) and, in one particular meeting, two powerful concepts became relevant to us. These concepts are based on Jewish tradition, yet hold true for everyone:
Shalom: Peace within oneself, family, home, and one's community.
Nachas: That which brings joy, happiness, peace, and positivity into one and one's family life.
The Hebrew word for peace is "Shalom". This word has very personal connotations. It is not about disarmament, peace talks, treaties or legislation. When I speak about peace, I mean the "inner peace" gained from the deep work on yourself, your relationships, and your beliefs. Deep personal work also includes literature and study concerning the soul, the self, communication, and relationships, all of which help to open the door to "Shalom" in the home and all aspects of human life. Look at yourself in the mirror when you get up in the morning. What do you see? How do you feel? If you are at peace with the "you" that you see there, then strife between you and others will be minimal. However, we have been living in a "new normal", in which staying-at-home and loss of income have created different dynamics and relationship tensions. For many of you, the future feels unknown. How do you plan? How can you not worry? What advice is there when nothing is as it was? So many unanswered questions during this time and my clients have mirrored these concerns. Together we are working through these stressors and finding new ways of being during the "new normal" and what lies beyond.
From Darkness to Light: Finding Shalom
When strife enters into a critical relationship, such as in family life, an intervention has to be made. Considering the pressures that we are under, this intervention is different. Its purpose is to cut through the infighting and create a firm foundation of peace based on love, reconciliation, and the installation of happiness. This intervention is called "listening with your heart" - listening beyond what you hear with your ears and what you perceive to be happening. This is the opposite of reacting to, countering, jumping to conclusions, and shutting down the current situation. Such an intervention establishes very loving rules of peace and love between families and neighbors. There is no substitute for peace. Infighting does not solve or resolve anything. It is a strategy doomed to failure. The "new normal" requires a new approach to problem-solving and an agreement to work on solving problems together. Dig deep - it requires "grit" to create change. You can do it. We all can.
From Shalom to Nachas
Nachas is the by-product of Shalom. It is the feeling of peace, reconciliation, and loving intimate connection to oneself, loved ones, and the community-at-large. It is also universal infinite cosmic consciousness and our connection to G-d. Meditation, deep feeling work, and deep learning about self and others transform inner turmoil to peace and love.
If you've ever hungered for complete and total joy and happiness, consider bringing the spirit of Nachas into your soul and your relationships. Nachas is all good, healthy, blessed, positive, loving, and transformative. It brings the good into your life and your relationships. Today, you can choose to bring all that is good and joyful into your own life and the lives of others.
Change: Where Will it Take You?
At first, you will need to deal with your current ways of thinking and reacting. What behavior has been self-destructive and destructive to others? What behavior has pushed others away? Choose to eliminate that which is destructive and negative in your life. Choose to get rid of what doesn't work anymore and watch what happens.
Check-in with your intuition and follow the path where your soul takes you. You can expect many different directions and inclinations. Study and check out the many paths available, such as deep emotional work, meditation, sacred literature, etc. to find out what fits you. Identity is a core issue and will help you design a very specific and distinct creation fit just for you. Remember, you are the creator and the creator is within you. You cannot build a pyramid or a tall building without an architect and a creator. The same holds true for building the magnificent self that resides inside of you.
Most of all, remember you are not alone. If you need help, reach out and call or email us. We can help and are here for you. Please ask about our reduced session pricing during this time.
Best regards and stay safe,
Hannig, Ph.D. LMFT